I have to admit: before I really stood back and analyzed my situation, I had a difficult time holding back resentment for my parents. I know that they have always worked their hardest to provide for me and I know that I am a priority to them, no matter how much it seems that they can't wait to push me away. But I couldn't help thinking: Why didn't they make better choices? Why didn't they save more money? Why didn't they fulfill their responsibilities as parents?! But that's just it. They did. If they hadn't taught me how to be an independent person, then I wouldn't be spending my free time researching federal aid forms, finding scholarships, and actually caring HARDCORE about my future. I have just come to terms with exactly how thankful I am that I'm in this place right now. I am becoming an independent person, and, as hard as it is for me to sit down and realize that the right college for me might not be my dream college, I can still make a dream out of the future I'm making for myself.
And I'm EXCITED. I can't wait to go to [insert name of college here]. It's a great school, I'm going to meet new and amazing people, and I'm going to just stuff knowledge into my skull. And I'm truly thankful that I will end up living fairly close to my parents. Because no matter how much I mature and grow, I'm still gonna need my parents to calm down my often frantic OCD, to hug me when I'm feeling down, to give me a smile and a reassuring thumbs up, and to support me. Because a parent's true role is to guide and support their children. It's my life, and my parents aren't swaying me in any particular direction. They aren't trying to convince me to go to community college, or to go to the school they attended. They're supporting me. And I can't thank them enough.
I WOVE YOU MOM, TONY, DAD, AND BECCI!
-Natalie
*COMING UP NEXT: WHAT MAJOR WILL SHE CHOOSE? DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH*
A/N: See my mom's response to this post here.
4 things people have said about this:
I love you sweetie - my comments were too long for a little box, so I blogged them: http://goo.gl/b/Sm9F
You know the more I know you and your mom, the more full of awesome I think you two are! I also had parents who couldn't afford to pay for my college, so I granted, student loaned, work-studied and crappy summer jobbed my way through undergraduate school. I chose a ridiculously overpriced private college, but I believe any accredited college, where they have a program in an area of interest to you, will serve you well. I believe college is what you make of it, not what they offer- so good luck, although I have every faith that you will do very very well wherever you end up going!
I never even thought of my parents paying for my education - we were always poor, but their support and encouragement - no their insistence that my brother and I would go to college, was enough, was more than many of my fellow students had I think. Most of the kids I went to school with were boarding school kids, with tons of money and little direction in life, so in many ways, I think paying for your own education is better - if it's your money (loans), you take it a bit more seriously, and although I had a blast, I think I came out of undergrad with more skills than many of my friends did. Now I'm getting my PhD - all undergrad and grad paid for by me, but the support and encouragement I received from my parents - was priceless, as I'm sure yours is too.
Nat - I know EXACLTLY how you feel in one respect...I had to work and pay my way through school which meant starting and stopping a number of times. It was hard and frustrating to see those around me whose parents paid their way and I struggled every day. I resented their (my parents) lack of saving and financial support. But as I have gotten older I have learned that people do the best with what they have, and I know you know this, but I find it helps when I am frustrated to think "they are really doing the best they can". The bright side for you is that I know your parents will support you financially as much as they can (I was on my own) and that you are smart enough to acknowledge your frustration, give it a voice and then also realize the realities. I also learned that those of us who really worked for our education learned more, appreciated more and worked harder. That is a great lesson in not taking life for granted. Kath
Actually I did not read your full blog, but a overview convinced me that you love your family and your family members love you that simply means either of you are not wrong...this is time and situation that force us to opt/act in some particular way!!! I wish happiness for you and your family dear!!! Love and god bless!!!
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